Today I wanna talk about something I had in mind for a while. I though it would be really helpful for the people around me to explain what happened to me for the past few months (some people would say “few years”. Well..), and I know some of you are going through it too. The more time passes (meaning the most birthdays you celebrate) the worst the situation is. I though it was time to reassure everyone… We are not sick, we are not contagious, our lives are not in danger, we are … we are .. just … drum rolling … single and 28 !(yes it actually isn’t 2 related facts) (If you are between 25 and 35, it’s working for you too. After 35, we are still working on your case but no worries, just keep going !)
So let’s be honest here: being single at 28 was not a plan, neither a vocation, I was actually doing well at first. I was just 22, working and studying, in love… Yes, “love” could have been my word from the beginning of 2009 until the end of 2011. We rented a beautiful place, it was how happiness should have looked like. I’m in a box, everyone is happy and imagine my future house with my future SUV parked, you know the one you can change into 7 seats « in case you want the family to grow », like the Brangelina we got a nickname, people plan for us to have 3 kids before our 30s « it’s always better to have your kids young you know, so you can enjoy it more », and told us very tactfully: « So, when is your turn ? ». Told you: full of tact.
Big twist at the end of 2011: this life is not for me, I panicked to see where my life was going to before I even celebrated my 25th birthday. Long story short: you all had break ups, I had mine too, nothing fun at all. But a new world opened to me: the “single life for the 25+ world”.
I checked into the « single box » but thank God “she has a permanent job, she is still attractive on the single market, she is saved” (Please not that the single market is a real expression). And then started a long series of remarks/advice/efforts for my entourage to reassure themselves more than me actually: « But you know you always meet someone when you don’t expect it, look at me and my Raymond » « You are too exigent, the perfect guy doesn’t exist. » « I wish I could be like you » (What do you mean “like me” ? Have brown hair ? Have a fringe ? Can you explain?) » I don’t know how you do it, being alone, I couldn’t do it » (I’ve got goldfishes. Does that count ? « You should hurry up, you’re already 28 you know… » (We have SO MUCH time left !!) « Oh don’t tell me you don’t have someone in mind » (Often coming from someone around their 70s.)
When you get used to the « single box », you meet new friends, being single helps you meet many people like you and who are always available to party, you say that you are leaving your apartment and quitting your job to go live in Canada. Yes, without having a job there, just with a work visa. At this time, people take you to the « single and unstable box ». I didn’t know what to expect for that one. If the one before was fun, you have to see how that one is crazy awesome. Just friends who don’t care about your love situation, they are more interested about the stamps on your passport than the number of lovers, they encourage you to leave, to discover, to travel, to “put yourself in danger” (that’s an image right, they don’t really want you to be hurt, remember they are friends)
It’s not a vocation to be single at 28 but it’s not also something I feel bad about. I love my life, I enjoy it 100% because I know that, one day, I will find the one who matches with me, and I will have to share my candies with him while watching Netflix. So for now, I’m just eating all the candy bag by myself until my stomach hurts (so I take a break, and start eating again), I’m eating the ones I love the less first until the one I love the most, and I even drop some into my bed (Ok, that is not really smart I agree).
A legend has to be set straight too. When a single person tells you she is enjoying life, it doesn’t mean she is sleeping with everyone. Being single is just about freedom.
If you forgot what you used to like about being single, I asked my single friends ( we are not going to be called a group anymore, less and less people every month ) to share the things they like the most about their single lives !
- Wait all day to eat the piece of cake you left in the fridge, dream about it, salivate about it, keep thinking about it to go trough the day, and finally find it at the same spot you left it without no one eating it: it’s a magical sensation !
- On winter evenings watching for the 1000 times Disney’s movies and/or Bridget Jones (change it for you favorite romantic movie) with a blanket and an hot water bottle without arguing about the movie choice (what do you really thing the problem was the hot water bottle ?)
- Sleeping with your socks during the without without blaming yourself about being not sexy !
- Take a decision for yourself, by yourself from the next movie to watch on theater to the next step to take for your career.
- Sleeping with your blankie.. ok your teddy bear as well, you won..
- No need to share the chocolate bar (change it for your favorite food).
- Turn on very loud the Spice Girls or Céline Dion songs, dance on the couch pretending you are Bridget Jones (for the one who needs a reminder, please click.)
- Believe that you still got a chance to marry Justin Timberlake (before he married Jessical Biel. Actually .. I can take off that point from my list now).
- Last minute moments with my friends without having to call anyone.
- I can gain or loose weight as much I want to (Or not, but at least no one will notice it ;)).
- I clean IF I WANT, I decorate HOW I WANT, I eat all the Nutella IF I WANT.
- Bridget Jones and Carrie Bradshaw are my Goddesses.
- Keep my “woke up like this” hairstyle whole of Sunday without anyone saying something.
- I can watch Sex and The City again and again and again.
- I can be on Tinder, and honestly it’s quite fun because you speak to “freaks” you would never meet in you daily life.
- Be able to listen old school music, dance in the living room, pretend you are Beyonce during a show, enjoy life, use the remote as a mike, yell to a crazy audience. Believe this is real life.
And the most important one:
- Having a king size bed for one person, do I really need to explain this point ? #StarfishTeam
Thanks Sandra, Maëve, Elodie, Mathilde, Stéphanie, Noémie, Alicia and Lison for your amazing help <3
This is a “second degree: post, I have nothing against couples or relationships. As a proof, the drawing was designed by a friend of mine who is actually in love ahah. Check her blog and find her in the other social media with her nickname Et pourquoi pas la lune !
What about you? The things you love/loved the most about being single ?
Des bisous les petits loups à frange.